If I knew it would be the last time

I wanna introduce a poem.
This is written by Laura Horton, who was firefighter and killed in 9.11.
After reading it, I wanted to call my family, wanted to say "I love you".
How do you feel?


“If I knew it would be the last time”

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's",
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
that you love them very much and
you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.



I remembered my loved ones' deaths. My grandpa, grandma, teacher in nursery school, cousin...
I didn't know that was the last time I saw him/her alive.

My grandpa was sitting on a chair and said something in a low voice (he couldn't speak clearly because his throat was made a hole in order to breathe)
I cannot remember what he said. I cannot remember what I said.
But I remember it was not "Thank you" or "I love you". Even though I thanked him so much.

My grandma was lying on a bed in a hospital.
She was just breathing quietly. Looked like sleeping. She'd kept closing her eyes for days.
But Dad said she was listening, and I believed it.
I hold grandma's hands, and said something she might be proud of me.
She didn't praise, smile or nod, but her hand moved a bit.
I was sure she was listening to me, I was sure she would praise me if she could.

My teacher was taking care of children. She was always smiling.
I was junior high student. We talked about the recent situation and future.
I said "See you, I'll come again soon". She said "I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Take care of yourself".
We slapped each other's hands. It meant good-by when I was nursery school child.

My cousin was dressed up in blue. She was beautiful.
We were celebrating other cousin's wedding. They looked happy.
She looked happy.
She talked about her future, about her future wedding.
I didn't know it wouldn't happen. I didn't wanna know she never kiss her dearest partner in a church.

No one knows what will happen tomorrow.
No one knows what will happen in a moment.

I wanna say to my loved ones, specially to my family.
I love you from the bottom of my heart.
I thank you for everything.
and I miss you so much.